Have loved the warm December and January. But as we get midway through February, I am just not happy. It is nothing in particular. I am married, with two great kids. I have lots of activities. Feel like we are blessed in this economy. With all that, I still have the blues. I'm feeling guilty about it too - which only makes me feel worse.

"Boo Hoo Blues"

Dear "Blues,"

It's a gray coldish as I write this - right in tune with your mood.

Sorry you are suffering. With clinical or physical depression, everything can be outwardly great - but something's still not right (mainly in the biochemistry. )

Since it seemed to come on with the shorter days (dislike standard time immensely myself), what we used to call the winter blues is now a diagnosable condition called "Seasonal Affective Disorder" or "SAD."

Most experts believe it comes on as the natural light - sunshine - diminishes with the shorter days.

Natural light is essential for the body to produce the "well-being" neurotransmitter serotonin. To feel right, we need to have a correct balance in our brain chemistry.

The treatment is usually more time in the sunlight, (with some time without sunglasses) or using the real "natural light" lamps (available on-line and in most stores now.)

Please check with your doctor to make sure nothing else is out of whack (like hormones or thyroid) and to see if he or she thinks a course of antidepressants may help.

Meanwhile - staying active and doing the best you can to enjoy your good fortune and wonderful family is very important.

Please let me know how this goes.

Dear Liz,

When do you need to seek the help of a counselor? I'm finding it harder and harder to connect with my husband, and as the kids grow (8, 11 and 13) I am finding it harder to keep my cool, as I try to keep them in line. I wish my husband would help more, not just me - but with them. I'm feeling overwhelmed.

"Help"

Dear "Help,"

In one word, now.

It is the healthiest people in a family system that recognize the value of outside professional help, and are usually the first to come in.

Your children are old enough to learn to keep themselves in line with the right guidance.

You used the word "overwhelmed" and you are seeing a deterioration in relationships. All of these are important agenda items for a marriage and family counselor. When you look for one, make sure they are licensed and work well with children. Make sure the children understand that going to a counselor is a smart thing to do to learn to communicate better and for things to feel better and safer at home.

(Contact Liz via asksharpliz@gmail.com. Liz Brisacher Sharp is a Master degree level Licensed Professional Counselor in private practice with 35 years experience in mental health).