Boiling mad

An employee in a local camera store had a little run-in with a customer who was irate over a mistake that had been made.

Oddly enough, the mistake was that of the customer's.

It turns out the customer came in to have her camera cleaned.

But when she came in, she dropped off the wrong camera. The employee at the store had no way of knowing that, so they shipped the camera off to the manufacturer and waited for it to be cleaned and returned.

At that point, they would call this customer and tell her to come pick it up.

At some point during this waiting period, the customer realized she had sent off the wrong camera.

She was irate because she also had to pay in advance to have this done. She called the camera store and cursed the clerk who answered the phone and demanded her camera back.

Of course, this could not be done instantaneously because the camera was in Arizona at the manufacturer.

The customer sat on this information for a few days and then decided to storm into the store and demand her camera back.

She showed the clerk the camera she intended to have cleaned and the clerk said that she could send that one off as well, but per policy she would have to pay for this service in advance.

The customer became livid. She cursed the clerk up one side of the counter and down the other until the clerk had heard enough out of this lady's mouth.

The clerk went and got a manager to try and diffuse the situation, but this only made the customer mad. She threatened to jump over the counter and fight the clerk. She then eloquently told the clerk, with all the class she could muster, that the clerk would be "a boil on her rear end."

The clerk called police to have assault charges filed against the customer but changed her mind after speaking to the officer.

However, the officer did call the customer to get her side of the story and, what do you know--she denied everything and said she was the victim. She even added that she would no longer be a customer at this store. Aaaawww shucks.

I'm all right

A cop came across an SUV parked up on a sidewalk late one evening and stopped to see what was wrong. He parked behind the car and noticed the brake lights were engaged.

And since cops see this time and time again, he suspected he might find someone passed out behind the wheel. Sure enough, a 49-year-old man was snoozing away.

The cop knocked on the window and woke the driver up. The driver looked dazed and confused and said, "Everything is okay. I'm okay."

He could hardly speak coherently, and then suddenly he lifted his foot off the brake. This was not good, since the car was still in drive and the driver didn't even know it.

The cop grabbed the door handle and ripped the door open and screamed for the driver to put the car in park. He did, and after the officer caught his breath, he told the man to get out of the car.

The cop asked the driver where he was coming from and how he ended up asleep on the side of the road. The driver said he had gone to a local restaurant to get something to eat.

But that didn't answer the cop's question about taking a little cat nap on the side of the road.

The officer asked again and this time the man just couldn't give him an answer.

The officer asked him how much he had to drink and if he was taking any medication. The driver said the standard two drink answer and said he had taken some type of prescribed medication.

The man was arrested for public drunkenness because it was obvious he had had more than two beers. The liquor drink in his cup holder was poured out and he was charged with that as well.

Soured milk

A 67-year-old woman made herself a jug of powdered milk, had a glass and went to exercise.

When she came home from the gym she poured herself another glass. But this time it didn't taste right and she dumped it out. She made another jug and had a glass and it tasted fine, so she went to bed.

The next morning, she made herself another glass of milk from this new jug and again it tasted salty and just not right.

She called police and asked the officer to test it, but the officer said he could not do that. She said she thought her stepdaughter was tampering with the milk to poison her.

The officer gave the woman the poison control number and said she should start there.

Cougar

A woman went to her neighborhood pool to enjoy the afternoon when she came across a drunk woman in the pool. This drunk woman was acting like a hussy and hanging all over some teenage boys in the pool.

In fact, her behavior was so improper that the resident went up to her and told her to watch it.

The drunk woman then got mad and pushed the resident by her shoulders. The resident called police and they came to the pool to talk to her. The cougar, who turned out to be 37 years old, said she might be drunk but she wasn't doing anything improper with the boys.

And she said she didn't push the woman. The resident didn't want to press charges, so all police could do was leave.

Gross

At 5 a.m. one morning, an officer drove through a store parking lot and saw a man passed out in his truck behind the wheel.

These are usually routine stops, and the driver usually goes to jail for being drunk in public.

However, when the officer walked up he saw that the man had his shirt unbuttoned, his pants undone and his genitals hanging out for the world to see. In between his legs was a jar of weed, a lighter and a pipe. The cop woke the man up and told him to pull his pants up. He then asked the man why he was sleeping in the car and why his privates were hanging out.

The man had no answer except that he was exhausted and passed out.

He didn't want to admit that it had anything to do with the weed he smoked.

At any rate, he was arrested for possession and booked at the jail.

You dog

Police were called to a local club because a man said he had been assaulted. He said his friend came up to him and said, "you're a dog for sleeping with my wife.

The man, who was extremely drunk, said "you're the only dog I see." His friend then slapped him twice in the face and walked away. Then the friend screamed over his shoulder that if he ever saw him again he would kill him.

The drunk guy did not want to press charges but wanted the incident documented in case he did get killed for sleeping with the man's wife.

???

(The Police Blotter is intended to be an informative and/or humorous column written from police reports obtained from the Mount Pleasant Police Department. Many of the stories come from the initial incident reports and, occasionally, supplemental reports. Generally, cases have not been adjudicated at the time of publication.)