When you meet a 13-foot alligator named Al, remember two important rules:
Don’t call him Albert. And for heavens sake, don’t sit on his tail.
Kent Turner, an intrepid wildlife expert working at Gator Country Adventure Park, ignores both rules.
“Hey ya Albert,” he calls out softly, “how ya doin’?” Kent strolls behind the beast, straddles Big Al’s tail, and settles down like it’s his favorite EZ Boy recliner.
Al hisses, his gargantuan mouth showing off double rows of dagger teeth. He’s just gorged on 55 pounds of raw chicken. Kent and Al bond, as only a crazy human and a well fed ‘gator can.
Kids: don’t try this at home. Better to visit the wildest attraction in Beaumont, Texas.

Museums and More
Considered the “Museum Capital of Texas,” Beaumont museums are fascinating and eclectic: learn about the history of the oil industry at the Texas Energy Museum; the work of fire fighters at the Fire Museum of Texas; and the life of Olympic gold-medalist/athlete Babe Didrikson Zaharias.
Tour the 1907 McFaddin-Ward house, to see how a Texas family achieved wealth from cattle, rice, milling and oil.
At the Spindletop/Gladys City Boomtown Museum, a film documents the historic moment that changed Beaumont forever. In January 1901, an oil field called “Spindletop” gushed oil 100 feet into the sky for nine days. The greatest oil well ever seen, it flowed 80,000 barrels a day.  Overnight, Beaumont thronged with thousands of speculators, promoters, and “boomers,” intent on becoming millionaires.
With this oil discovery, Beaumont made her global debut into America’s industrial age, eventually becoming home to 600 oil companies.
Nature lovers will delight in a day at Shangri-La Botanical Gardens. Enjoy a swamp boat ride, walk through splendid gardens, explore a world class Nature Center, and observe hundreds of birds close up on their nests on Ruby Lake.  Shangri-La was developed by H.J. Lutcher Stark over 60 years ago, who devoted his life to “working with nature, trying to paint this scene with the most beautiful colors nature will give me.”
An enchanting oasis of peace and beauty, Shangri-La achieves all that, and more.

A Big Thicket Tale
Texas is home to tall tales and we got a whopper during our paddle through Big Thicket, a 97,000 acre Preserve, part of the National Park System.
Canoeing a languid river on a steamy afternoon, we hope to see ‘gators sunning on logs, beavers building their dams, even a lonely snake ribboning the river’s width. We scan the dense forest, wishing for the gray smudge of an owl, or a flashing yellow eagle’s beak. But in this particular place, on this particular day, wildlife remains wild…and hidden. Not an animal is sighted, except a scarlet cardinal flying to his mate. So we settle into an admiration of trees, mindful of those soaring skyward and those barely a foot tall.  
We give ourselves to the river, which ferries us through this dazzling green universe.
Hauling our canoes onto a sandy river beach for lunch, I innocently ask one of our guides, “So Terry, got any wildlife stories for us?”
We nearly choke on our chips when Terry drawls, “Waaaaaalll, there was a bobcat tried to kill me. In my bathroom.”
“Did you live to tell the tale?”  I joke.
“Barely,” he glowers.
“My wife and I took in a pack of dogs and cats after the hurricane,” Terry explains. “One day a bobcat shows up. I determine to make a friend of this bobcat, tame him as my pet. We let him eat with the others. Big eater, I notice. One day, that darn bobcat follows one of the small cats into my house. Find them in my bathroom, I shush the cat outside. Bobcat snarls. ‘Here kitty,’ I say, real nice. ‘Kitty, cat.’
“Next thing, Bobcat is on top my head, his claws gouging out my eyeball.
His nails rip skin off my skull. I pry him off, throw him at the wall. Bobcat leaps on my head again, claws gouging out my eyeball. Blood everywhere. I stagger to the kitchen, grab an iron pan.  Beat that cat off my head, I did. Between me and that Bobcat, I was gonna win.
“I take the carcass out to the dock, throw him to the ‘gators. But owing to my bloody face, I trip. Next thing, I’m drowning in a river of ‘gators. I ask the Good Lord what to do, the Lord answers me real quick, saying ‘get out the water, fool.’
“I hurl myself onto the dock, my ankle is broke, my eyeball nearly hanging out, blood everywhere. Just make it to the house. When my wife comes home, I’m nearly dead. Six months agony I had, recoverin’ from that Bobcat.”
“Sorry I ever fed that critter. But between him or me, it was gonna be me staying alive. Broke my heart, killin’ him.”
Terry stares at us. We stare at Terry. No one says a word.

Relax
After Terry’s tall tale, which we know to be true, there was no recourse except to give our river rat selves to the folks at Vallie Marie Day Spa. All the southern belle Spa ladies look like Miss Texas, so we didn’t breathe a word about blood, bobcats, or eyeballs hanging out. We were still too scared to talk.
The Spa ladies escort us through their gorgeous mansion to high ceiling rooms. We lie on soft heated massage tables for exquisite massages, replaying our thrilling Big Thicket adventure in our minds.  
We become so blissfully relaxed, we aren’t sure we’d met a Texan who nearly lost his life trying to tame a bobcat. Maybe we did, maybe we didn’t. If you were there, you know we heard his tale.
If you weren’t, I’m sorry for you. In Texas, no matter what happens, folks still smile politely and ask, “Have you tried our barbecue?”

Barbecue
So we wisely took refuge at Willie Ray’s Bar-B-Cue, a cafeteria-style mom and pop restaurant that smells like Heaven on Earth. You slide your tray past pork in tangy tomato sauce, beef ribs in spicy brown sauce, juicy brisket, sweet potato casserole, collard greens, cabbage, mac n cheese, green beans, fries dusted in Texas Joy Spice, and thick slabs of corn bread.
When asked “What would you like, honey?” you answer, “Everything, please.” Then your tray becomes so heavy you can’t carry it to the table, but you find the strength.
If you’re lucky, owners Jack and Cindy Harrington will stop by to say hello and make sure you have dessert:  Red Velvet Cake with vanilla icing so thick you could use it as a pillow.  “I can’t eat another bite,” you’ll protest. But you find the strength to inhale a massive slice.
When folks here say, “I wasn’t born in Texas, but I got here as fast as I could,” that’s because the food is that good.
I would venture this thought:  offer Red Velvet Cake to any wild bobcat: he just might become your pet. Or not.


 IF You Go
For more information, contact the Beaumont Convention and Visitors Bureau, 505 Willow Street, Beaumont, TX 77701.  
Call the number  800-392-4401. www.BeaumontCVB.com.


2009 Sharon Spence Lieb and Warren Lieb