I always thought I would be a “Boy Momma,” I had visions of myself carting 3 or 4 little boys around to soccer, football and karate practice. Boys seemed so much easier to me as a young babysitter, working for gas money. Boys would play outside with my supervision, requiring very little interaction or entertainment.
The girls I baby-sat were much different. They wanted to play Barbie’s, dress-up and have full blown Extreme Make-Overs. I would do all the work while the little angels were entertained and pampered. I thought I would be a “Boy Momma” but I was wrong.
I have 3 little girls, ages 4, 2 and 4 months. While they do enjoy a good mani/pedi, they spit, fight, wrestle and use the bathroom outside like a bunch of boys. I’m not sure what I’ve done to deserve a 4 year old who has cleaned her ears out with tampons while I was trying to check out at Wal-Mart. Or a 2 year old who is so efficient with a screw driver you need to do a quick inspection before sitting on anything in my house, lest you end up on your back on the floor.
But they are mine, nonetheless. Motherhood is a series of bloopers and blunders. Many women try to maintain a cool facade and make this job appear much easier than it actually is. Not me! Join me as I rip the Band-Aid off of Motherhood and take a blisteringly honest and hysterical look at the world’s second oldest profession.