Some birthday advice ...

Wednesday, December 17, 2014 12:07 a.m.

My birthday was last week, and it’s astonishing that I’ve survived 54 years on this planet relatively unscathed. I say “relatively” because I’ve had my heart broken (by a human) and my skull cracked (by a horse).

Twas the Day After Christmas

Wednesday, December 17, 2014 12:07 a.m.

Clement Clarke Moore wrote the poem “Twas the Night Before Christmas” in 1822. With the poem being read around the tree this year, here’s my version.

Fanfare for the Common Man: Catching Santa in the act

Tuesday, December 9, 2014 11:51 p.m.

In addition to my rampant ADD, I was an obsessive child.

Black Friday? I don’t get it

Tuesday, December 9, 2014 11:52 p.m.

Deck the halls with boughs of crazy, tra la la la la la la la!

Fanfare for the Common Man: Deconstructing Rudolph

Wednesday, December 3, 2014 11:58 p.m.

Christmas songs have always bothered me.

Fun at the hospital ...

Wednesday, December 3, 2014 11:59 p.m.

If you live long enough, you’ll eventually spend more time in hospitals than you’d like to, either as a patient or waiting on a patient. Neither role is a lot of fun.

Fanfare for the Common Man: Songs I hate

Wednesday, November 26, 2014 12:15 a.m.

There are songs out there that I really hate.

I am thankful for ...

Wednesday, November 26, 2014 12:16 a.m.

Thanksgiving is tomorrow, and I hope you have much to be grateful for. (Tip: If you have loved ones, shelter and food, you have much to be grateful for.)

You have been warned ...

Tuesday, November 18, 2014 12:14 p.m.

I am hormonal. You have been warned.

Avoiding the wall

Tuesday, November 18, 2014 12:13 p.m.

By the time many of you read this, I’ll be almost there, winding the clubhouse turn and heading down the home stretch.

Don’t be THAT parent

Wednesday, November 12, 2014 11:58 p.m.

Every day I wake up and ask, “Lord, how can I serve You today?” Sometimes I don’t get a clear answer. (Which is on me, not Him.) Other days, I help at the church food bank, or visit a sick friend. Or, I refrain from giving the stink-eye to a screaming toddler.

Fanfare for the Common Man: 50,000 words in 30 days

Wednesday, November 12, 2014 11:57 p.m.

I’m going to write 50,000 words in 30 days.

I love November

Wednesday, November 5, 2014 8:39 a.m.

Forgive me that I’m playing some vintage Scorpions as I write this. Call it mood music if you will.

Got raccoons?

Wednesday, November 5, 2014 8:40 a.m.

I’ve never been wildly popular (old high school classmates always say, “You graduated when?”) but our home, Crazy Acres, is a popular place to be. At least for wild critters.

Fanfare for the Common Man: Tricks or Treats

Wednesday, October 29, 2014 12:14 a.m.

As a kid, Halloween kicked off my favorite two months of the year. It began with a night of trick or treating and ended with Christmas Eve, the one night of the year where I gave in to gluttony and could eat whatever, and however much, I wanted.

A colonoscopy to remember

Wednesday, October 29, 2014 12:15 a.m.

Sweet reader, today’s column contains TMI about a medical procedure. So if you are squeamish or easily offended, turn the page. I don’t mind, really. I have a weak stomach myself.

Scary stuff

Wednesday, October 22, 2014 7:51 a.m.

You know this is how The Walking Dead started.

Pass the okra!

Wednesday, October 22, 2014 7:54 a.m.

Southerners do make headlines, don’t we? Sometimes we hear some piece of news and immediately know it happened south of the Mason-Dixon Line. We just KNOW, the same way we know it’s going to rain if we wash the car.

Thoughts on church

Tuesday, October 14, 2014 3:07 p.m.

Forty souls attended the 11:30 a.m. service at our church last week. That doesn’t sound like much compared to some megachurches, where Sunday attendance numbers in the thousands, but for our rural congregation it was a healthy head count.

Getting dressed isn’t easy

Tuesday, October 14, 2014 3:06 p.m.

Getting dressed these days is no easy feat.

Soft drinks and obesity

Wednesday, October 8, 2014 11:45 a.m.

A story in the Sept. 29 issue of USA Today said that soda makers like Coke and Pepsi cared about the obese state of this country.

Some thoughts on punishment

Wednesday, October 8, 2014 11:45 a.m.

The “corporal punishment” debate blew up last month when Minnesota Vikings running back Adrian Peterson was indicted after allegedly beating his four-year-old “with a tree branch,” leaving welts and abrasions on the boy’s body.

Who needs a watch?

Thursday, October 2, 2014 12:49 p.m.

I wrote something a few weeks back about a new watch called simply SLOW. The manufacturers took off the longer minute hand and left you with the shorter, and more slowly moving hour hand.

The IKEA experience UPDATED

Tuesday, September 23, 2014 7:45 a.m.

I have become one with the assimilated.

Random thoughts from Julie

Tuesday, September 23, 2014 7:46 a.m.

Random thoughts while folding laundry and wondering if we will all mildew before the rain stops. (This being South Carolina, and this being written a week in advance, we could well be in drought mode when you read this.)

Don’t mess with my breadsticks

Tuesday, September 16, 2014 1:25 p.m.

There was an article making the rounds last week suggesting radical changes in the way the Olive Garden does it business.

Some dog days to remember

Tuesday, September 16, 2014 1:26 p.m.

I’ve never had a sock-eating Great Dane, but I’ve owned some goofy dogs.

Fanfare for the Common Man: I am Batman (Superman too)

Wednesday, September 10, 2014 7:36 a.m.

I found two cool shirts on the clearance rack at Wal-Mart.

The friendly skies?

Wednesday, September 10, 2014 7:36 a.m.

Remember when it was fun to fly the friendly skies? Back when flight attendants were called stewardesses, traveling by airplane was special. Meals were served and the cabin crew was glad to see you. Passengers dressed up, there was plenty of seat room and screaming babies were strapped to the wing. (Just checking to see if you were paying …

Dance Fever

Wednesday, September 3, 2014 10:31 a.m.

There’s a Facebook post going around that features a 91-year-old woman who is A) Lovely, slender and blonde and B) Dancing up a storm. She’s gliding across a slick dance floor, shagging like there’s no tomorrow. She’s dancing with guys in their 20s and wearing them out. It’s a beautiful thing.

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