I want a clock with a slow hand

Wednesday, August 20, 2014 2:55 p.m.

I was lamenting time’s passage the other day in a Facebook post, about how a person seems to have all the time in the world when he has nothing to look forward to, but the moment you find someone you really like and would love to spend all your time with, somebody upstairs hits the fast forward button and before you know it, your time’s up, she’s …

What is your quirk?

Wednesday, August 20, 2014 2:55 p.m.

Isn’t it funny how we obsess over the little things?

At least I’ve never been skunked

Wednesday, August 13, 2014 6:40 a.m.

I’m clumsy. Awkward. A klutz. Always have been.

I am not a handyman

Wednesday, August 13, 2014 6:41 a.m.

It is well documented that I am not a handyman.

The times have changed

Thursday, August 7, 2014 7:26 a.m.

Cue the 2001 Space Odyssey theme.

Hot? Take my advice

Thursday, August 7, 2014 7:27 a.m.

I hate heat, so this is not my favorite season. Actually, in South Carolina we have only two seasons: Hot, and Christmas. It’s not Christmas.

All kidding aside ... we don’t own a horse

Thursday, July 31, 2014 8:01 a.m.

We live in a pastoral little hamlet, Widdle Baby and I.

HGTV is giving me a headache

Wednesday, July 23, 2014 3:58 p.m.

I have to stop watching HGTV. It’s giving me a complex.

What is a Twitter?

Wednesday, July 23, 2014 3:58 p.m.

Life as I know it has become manifested in the dim, blinking brake lights in the distance, having left me behind.

Words of advice for Mikey

Tuesday, July 15, 2014 1:27 p.m.

Dear Mikey,

Life is short. Buy the shoes.

Wednesday, July 9, 2014 11:10 a.m.

Sometimes you just need to buy the shoes.

Thoughts on feet

Wednesday, July 9, 2014 11:10 a.m.

Last year it was the Summer of Monopoly – a golf shirt the color of every street on a Monopoly board.

Invasion of the body snatchers?

Friday, July 4, 2014 8:18 a.m.

There’s this stranger who yells at noisy kids, shakes his fists at speeders in the neighborhood, glares at youngsters who thump the subwoofers in their cars at sub-atomic testing, and has yet to understand most of the applications on his cellphone.

The other football ...

Thursday, July 3, 2014 1:16 p.m.

Let’s get this out of the way early — I watched three World Cup soccer games last weekend on TV for a total of a half hour of edge-of-my-seat soccer action.

Are we immune to vulgarity?

Tuesday, July 1, 2014 3:03 p.m.

Remember the mean kids in high school? The ones who did mean stuff to impress their mean friends, then laughed about it, because they were mean?

I am a clutterer UPDATED

Tuesday, July 1, 2014 3:03 p.m.

I’ve got something of a problem.

Welcome to Crazy Acres!

Wednesday, June 25, 2014 10:59 p.m.

There’s never a dull moment at Crazy Acres.

There’s something about an Aqua Velva man

Wednesday, June 25, 2014 10:59 p.m.

In my defense, it looked cool and refreshing. Cool as in temperature-wise, not style, and refreshing, as in maybe a little aromatic relief from this ridiculous heat.

If I were a soda, I’d be root beer

Tuesday, June 17, 2014 11:00 a.m.

Thanks to Facebook, I know now which Brady Bunch kid I’d be, what kind of dog I am and how long I would survive a zombie apocalypse. (Jan, beagle and forever—my husband is handy with a shotgun, and I swing a mean cast iron skillet. I think we’d be OK. You thought I was going to say I don’t believe in zombies, didn’t you?)

The road frequently taken

Tuesday, June 17, 2014 10:59 a.m.

I drive a lot between here and Atlanta, sometimes twice in a month.

I am older than I once was ...

Thursday, June 12, 2014 10:49 a.m.

My body is failing me.

Things that make me trip

Thursday, June 12, 2014 10:50 a.m.

Sometimes I watch life go by and think, “Wow, I haven’t been surprised in a while.”

‘Perfect for us’

Thursday, June 5, 2014 10:55 p.m.

I’d like to thank all who have written, called, visited, emailed and texted since my mother’s death. You’ve soothed me and made me remember the good times.

An Ode to Jeffery 2014 UPDATED

Thursday, June 5, 2014 10:54 p.m.

This is an update on my very first Fanfare for the Common Man column titled “An Ode to Jeffrey.”

You can’t make this stuff up

Thursday, May 29, 2014 11:50 p.m.

A look at some news—recent and not so much—that made me shake my head…

Housework? No thanks

Thursday, May 22, 2014 9:51 p.m.

I have so many blessings, it’s a crime to complain. So I won’t. Except for one… leetle… thing.

It was a very good chair

Thursday, May 22, 2014 9:51 p.m.

You might notice I no longer sit while covering sporting events.

I love you, Mother UPDATED

Wednesday, May 14, 2014 9:23 a.m.

My mother had a small head. I know that because I’m wearing her floppy sun hat. I’m wearing her floppy sun hat because she left it to me when she died on April 25.

MacGyver would be proud

Tuesday, May 13, 2014 10:08 p.m.

I got my hand stuck in my guitar.

Thoughts on the unfairer sex

Thursday, May 8, 2014 2:40 p.m.

I love my husband, and he loves me. But there are things about him - and men in general - that leave me stumped.

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