Friday, May 31, 2013
Every now and then, it helps to put the current political and cultural climate in perspective by imagining the movers’ and shakers’ answers to the age-old question: Why did the chicken cross the road?”
Here are some imagined answers.
Let’s start at the top: The White House issued a statement saying, “At no time was the administration aware of any chickens crossing the road. We first heard about it when we read about it in the newspaper. The president had no knowledge of this and is as curious as the general public as to why this occurred.”
Newly-elected SC-1 congressman Mark Sanford: “To get a second chance.”
Mount Pleasant musical celebrity Darius Rucker: “To be a crossover artist. It sure worked pretty well for me.”
Former SC-1 Democratic candidate Elizabeth Colbert-Busch: a spokesman said she had a busy schedule and could not be reached for comment or issue a statement.
Sullivan’s Island residents were sharply divided on the question. A group was formed to limit both the number of chickens crossing the road and the size of the road.
An opposing group issued a statement pushing for acceptance of both the chickens and roads as contained in the current plans.
Will Haynie has published more than 400 oped columns as a feature columnist for the Asheville Citizen-Times and the Hendersonville (N.C.) Times-News when it was owned by the New York Times. His niche is as a humorous conservative. Find him on Twitter at @willhaynie or email him at Haynie.firstname.lastname@example.org.