Columnist thanks blond muses for getting her on list

  • Thursday, September 26, 2013

Last Thursday was no different from any other school day at the O’Bryant household. Emma was up and dressed before the sun came up. Sadie was wearing a princess dress on top of her school uniform and was lying in the floor pretending she didn’t know how to put on her velcro tennis shoes. Aubrey asked for five more minutes so many times that I finally told her, “I’m leaving this house in five more minutes. With or without you.”

My husband, Zeb, was working out of town for a couple of days, so I packed lunches, made breakfast and herded children to the car. I dropped the girls off at school and came back home to go for a run.

For the last few months I’ve been working hard to get my fitness on. So as foreign as the words may appear, I did, in fact, run and no one was chasing me with a weapon of any sort. After my run, I came home feeling like the Queen of the Universe. I’d run further and faster than I ever had before, and while I wasn’t going to be going to be hoping for a gold medal in 2016 — I was proud of myself.

I was still sweating when I got a call from my literary agent telling me I’d made the New York Times’ best-seller list. I shouted and danced around my house, before calling my husband and the rest of my family. I spent the rest of the day on the phone with my agent, and staring at my computer screen finishing the proposal for the next book.

I was excited to pick the girls up from school — I always am, but I wanted to tell a family member in person, see someone’s face light up with excitement for me.

They piled in the minivan.

“So guess what? Mommy’s book got on a really important list today, all the way up to No. 3.”

Aubrey put her finger in the book she had been reading in the carpool line and looked at me with her mouth hanging open, “Momma, That is so awesome.”

“Gradulations, Momma,” Sadie said.

“Can we go to Sonic?” Emma asked — any excuse for a slushie.

“Sure, why not?” We ordered a round of drinks and headed to the house for homework. While everyone worked at the kitchen counter, I cooked dinner. I opened a bottle of wine a friend of mine had dropped at the house earlier in the day as a congratulations and had my first glass of wine in months.

We took showers and got in bed early — all four of us piled into my bed. I laughed as the girls told me stories about their day then scolded them when they kept touching each other after I turned out the lights. I stayed up late, watching their little button noses inhale and exhale, and smooching their cheeks when I thought I could get away with it.

When I started writing five years ago, I dreamt about one day making the New York Times’ list. I never imagined it would happen this soon but I can’t imagine a better way to celebrate than drifting off to sleep surrounded by my three blonde muses.


Robin O’Bryant is an author, humorist and speaker. Her latest book is “Ketchup is a Vegetable and Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves.” Connect with her on Facebook and Twitter and visit her blog: www.robinschicks.com.

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