Sunday, November 3, 2013
While I was cooking dinner one night last week, my 7-year-old, Emma, and Sadie, her 4-year-old sister were playing with Playdoh at the kitchen counter when they decided to grab an iPad and film a “cooking show.” Hilarity and hijinks ensued.
Emma is a little foodie. She’s been helping me in the kitchen for as long as she could hold a wooden spoon. I’ve always let her smell spices before I add them to a recipe and at this point, if she tells me the chili needs more cumin, it does. Emma takes food very seriously. She loves watching “Chopped” on The Food Network, and “Nerdy Nummies,” a popular Youtube webshow for kids. So maybe I shouldn’t have been surprised at how serious Emma was, but that kid is ready for her own line of cookware and a QVC special.
I wasn’t really paying attention while they were “filming,” I was busy cooking dinner and doing a few household chores so I only got involved when they screamed loud enough to get my attention.
So it wasn’t until I sat down to edit the video that I saw the whole drama unfold, including a few discreetly placed elbow jabs.
The show begins with a hissed warning from Emma to Sadie, “Don’t mess this up. I really want this to be on YouTube.”
While Emma is focused on her faux food, Sadie is busy making faces at herself in the camera and offering helpful non-cooking related information such as, “Yeah, and I’m growing my bangs out cuz I weally hate dem.”
Emma growls, “Sadie, this is a serious cooking show.”
“I’m being as serious as I can be,” Sadie says as she drops out of the camera frame and waves her hand behind Emma’s head until Emma sees her hand and smacks it.
An elbow is thrown and I intervene, reminding Sadie that this is Emma’s Very Serious Cooking Show. “Y’all can do a silly show next, but this is Emma’s show and it’s very serious.”
They both refocus and Emma says to the camera, “Sorry about that fight that happened early. It happens a lot around here.”
“Yeah,” Sadie interjects, “We’re weally sistuhs.”
Tears poured down my face as I stood at the stove trying not to laugh out loud. They are “weally” sisters? Like everybody on YouTube was going to think they just play them on TV?
If you have ever doubted for a single second that my kids aren’t as funny as I make them out to be, you need to go to my website right this very second and watch the first two episodes of “The Very Serious Cooking Show” and listens for nuggets like these:
Sadie: “Lucy loved our video.” (Their 2-year-old cousin.)
Aubrey: “You know, all women have eyes in the back of their head.”
Sadie to her sisters: They really hate me. Don’t you?
Aubrey: “Well, you can be kind of annoying. You know we like it when you are nice. We’ve told you that 100 times.”
Emma: “It’s really hard being the middle child, if you know what I mean.”
Aubrey mouths to the camera: “This job is the hardest.”
Sadie mouths to the camera: “Those two are stupid.”
Sadie shoves a Smartie up her nose. Then eats it.
Emma: “Aubrey, please stop. Everybody knows that you aren’t really funny right now.”
Au contraire, I’m pretty sure the whole world understands the hilarity of the O’Bryant sisters at this point. I fully anticipate sitting in the wings while Emma films her first QVC special and I can only hope that she’ll learn to kick her sisters under the counter instead of trying to throw elbows in the camera frame. After all, it’s all about appearances, right?
To watch the first two episodes of “The Very Serious Cooking Show” visit www.robinschicks.com or go to YouTube and search for Robin’s Chicks.
Robin O’Bryant is an author, humorist and speaker. Her latest book is “Ketchup is a Vegetable and Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves.” Connect with her on Facebook and Twitter and visit her blog at www.robinschicks.com.