Thursday, February 13, 2014
Observations on some paradoxes of life thus far in 2014:
1. Super Bowl Summary: musicians pretended to play music and the Denver Broncos pretended to play football.
2. Ganja: Our country is legalizing marijuana while it criminalizes tobacco. In the midst of an obesity epidemic, CVS drug stores are getting rid of tobacco products while continuing to sell sugar-laden candy bars and soft drinks – and those without a prescription.
If drug stores really want to benefit mankind, they should reveal two industry secrets: why is the pharmacy always on a raised platform, and do pharmacists really need to wear lab coats to take pills out of big bottles and put them into little bottles?
Those same drug stores in the not-too-distant future will probably be dispensing marijuana from their raised platforms.
In fact, after a few more presidential executive orders, I bet drug stores will be required to under the Affordable Care Act.
4. Celebrity Deaths: Media outlets across the spectrum are giving wall-to-wall coverage of the sad case of a drug addict actor who died from an overdose, yet not one of us knows the name of the last US soldier who died fighting for our country.
5. Snow: During winter storm Leon, some school children took advantage of the snow day to build a snowman likeness of president Obama. They called it “Snow-Bama,” but were sorely disappointed when it cancelled their private health insurance policy, blamed the weather on Bush, then left to play golf.
5. Priorities: We live in a state where assistant college football coaches in our biggest programs make from $250,000-$1,400,000, while just across campus, professors with PhDs start at $60,000 or less. Then we complain about our state being at the bottom of the education ladder. Go figure.
Will Haynie has published more than 400 op-ed columns as a feature columnist for the Asheville Citizen-Times and the Hendersonville (N.C.) Times-News when it was owned by the New York Times. His niche is as a humorous conservative. Find him on Twitter at @willhaynie or email him at Haynie.firstname.lastname@example.org.