Friday, February 21, 2014
To say I’m ready for springtime would be like saying you need air to breathe. I need spring. I need it now and here are the top 10 reasons why:
1. Everyone in my house is too close to me. It’s raining. It’s sleeting – no wait – that’s snow. It’s cold. It’s colder. It’s a polar vortex – call it what you want, but it all means the same thing: my kids are inside and they are loud.
2. It’s Feb. 10 and we’ve already met our family deductible for the year. You know who hates when the weather fluctuates 40 degrees in less than 24 hours? The O’Bryant Family sinuses. You know who loves it? The O’Bryant Family physicians.
3. Somebody is constantly touching me.
4. I made the mistake of taking my children to see “Frozen,” and now, along with millions of other parents across the nation, I am being tortured with multiple renditions of “Let it Go.” Emma and Sadie like to sing at the same time – not TOGETHER, not in unison. No ma’am. The same song, at the same time, with each of them trying to outdo the other.
“NOOOOO! Emma! That’s not how it goes! It goes LIKE THIS…” Sadie bellows as she climbs on top of the kitchen table.
5. I have so many prescriptions for antihistamines and decongestants, I’m pretty sure my pharmacy account has been flagged by the ATF.
6. So. Many. People. In. My. House.
7. In addition to the people in my house, it’s now too cold for our dog to stay outside. Moses is in the house with us and he has joined right in with the kids by following me from room to room, so closely on my heels that when I stop suddenly there is a three-kid pileup behind me.
8. NO MORE FROZEN SONGS. I’ve reached my limit!
9. I don’t remember what sunshine is.
10. I can’t think of anything else because all three of my kids are touching me.
Robin O’Bryant is an author, humorist and speaker. Her latest book is “Ketchup is a Vegetable and Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves.” Connect with her on Facebook and Twitter and visit her blog at www.robinschicks.com.