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Ask Liz

  • Thursday, March 20, 2014

I love weather lore, like “March comes in like a lion and out like a lamb.” We shall see... with the spring time comes a chance for renewal, new energy, sacred holidays and – well – allergies.


Dear Liz,

The warmer weather was wonderful, but it actually left my husband surprisingly grumpy. We are young seniors who enjoy an active life in and around Mount Pleasant. But, it has been rough. I try not to take it personally, but it is often directed at me... or I take it that way. Suggestions?

“Confused”


Dear “Confused,”

Yes, it is confusing. But there are often medical reasons for confusing changes in behavior and those should be checked out first, followed by, if it continues, some good short-term counseling with a licensed professional. For instance, I never had allergies - until I turned 60 (except for mold which was a direct result of overexposure to it after Hurricane Hugo – ugh!). My allergist explained that as we age our immune system can change making us more vulnerable to allergies of all kinds. We have great allergists and Ear, Nose and Throat specialists in our area. I hope your husband would consider checking that out. In addition, allergies, especially undiagnosed and untreated, can make us very grumpy – even depressed.

This may not be the fact in your case, but changes in weather can hit emotional buttons of even unresolved grief. Even spring cleaning can trigger allergies.

These are not “excuses,” but reasons.

Please help your hubby do some detective work so you can enjoy spring “hand in hand!”

Dear Liz,

What is it with these middle schoolers? I have THREE. And they suddenly started acting like they would lose their heads if not attached, and suddenly two have major crushes that seem to further distract them. Help.

“Ahhh”


Dear “Ahhh,”

You are the mom of middle schoolers all right! Having been a middle school guidance counselor, I understand. It is, while abnormal-appearing, expected and “normal.” Hormone repellent anyone? I used to explain to parents, this is the definition of a middle schooler: “The first day they love school, the second day they hate school, the third day they can't find school.” The unevenness of their hormones and development is the official reason. Focus on what you can control (clear guidelines, rules, expectations and logical consequences - in writing.) Stay calm (I hear laughter out there) as they bounce off the walls.

Love them when they are most unlovable.

They are having to question you, so they can separate and eventually leave home, and we have to survive them being obnoxious enough to let them go.

It's part of the order of things. Please seek out all of the resources, including the school guidance counselor, to help your children succeed as you survive.


Contact Liz via asksharpliz@gmail.com. Liz Brisacher Sharp is a Master degree-level Licensed Professional Counselor in private practice with 35 years experience in mental health.

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