Wednesday, July 30, 2014
Ten questions to ponder on a hot, humid Lowcountry summer day:
1. Why do we see such an appropriately empathetic response by the Mount Pleasant Planning Commission to local citizens showing concern about a proposed suburban development on Longpoint Road, yet over on iconic Shem Creek and Coleman Boulevard, citizens face their own uphill battle with Town Council to preserve the look and ambiance that is unique to a small coastal town?
2. Why do avid bicyclers (identified by their high-tech equipment) still clog up Ben Sawyer Boulevard, even on the busiest days such as the Fourth of July, when the taxpayers just provided a $1.4 million improved/widened multi-use path down the entire length of the causeway?
3. Why don't we name the proposed second high school in Mount Pleasant after our most famous resident, role model, philanthropist and Charleston County School District alumnus, Darius Rucker?
4. Why are baseball coaches the only coaches who dress up in a player's uniform as if they are actually going to get into the game? What if football coaches did that?
5. Why do so many U.S. Christians who vehemently oppose their government's interference in how they raise and educate their children now advocate that same U.S. government taking complete control of 65,000 children from other families?
6. Why do liberal Democrat politicians preach that it is our Christian duty to grant legal status without due process to the above-mentioned children? Since when has the liberal Democrat standard for lawmaking been WWJD?
7. Why do only ice cream trucks cruise through East Cooper neighborhoods on hot summer days? Why not add a little variety, like bacon trucks, beer trucks, barbecue trucks, or, to be really modern, fast-Wi-Fi-that-actually-works trucks?
8. Why does a Lowcountry politician with a drug distribution conviction, who also flaunts on television his choice to contribute to our state's out-of-wedlock birth problem, think he will have the support of the majority of South Carolina voters? Has he test-marketed himself in any non-polo-playing Upstate counties recently?
9. Why do vegetarians want foods like pork-flavored, vegetarian sausage? Isn't that a bit hypocritical?
10. Why do almost all the great fruits and vegetables ripen at the same time of year? Why can't the fresh garden feast be spread evenly throughout the year without the need for greenhouses?
Will Haynie has published more than 400 oped columns as a feature columnist for the Asheville Citizen-Times and the Hendersonville (N.C.) Times-News when it was owned by the New York Times. His niche is as a humorous conservative. Find him on Twitter at @willhaynie or email him at Haynie.firstname.lastname@example.org.