Flat tire

An officer came upon a man trying to change a tire and stopped to help.

As he helped the man he smelled booze on his breath so the officer asked him if he had been drinking.

The man said he had been and explained that he only had two beers at a bar on Shem Creek. He said his friends dropped him off at his car.

And because he was unsteady on his feet and could not talk clearly, the officer arrested him for public drunkenness and towed his car.

Headed home

A real estate agent came into work one morning and just happened to glance out the back window and saw a man snoozing on the bench outside of the office. Rather than go out there and confront the man he called police.

Sure enough a man was sleeping quite soundly when the officer arrived. The cop woke him up and asked him what in the world he was doing.

He said he was headed home the previous night and ran out of gas.He said he parked his car in the real estate office parking lot and saw the bench.

It was then that he decided to lie down for a quick snooze. However he left the car unlocked, the key in the ignition and the ignition turned on.

He reeked of alcohol and admitted to drinking the night before.

In fact, he was still drunk and the officer would not let him drive home.

The man agreed and apologized to the officer.

He then called a friend and left without further incident.

No trespassing

A man came into a local bank several times in one day demanding his check. This man has been warned by bank staff not to return to the bank but he keeps coming back.

On this particular occasion he came in and said the government owed him money and he wanted his check. In fact the check was for the sum of $82 million.

He got very agitated when the teller told him the check was not there.

The officer found the man walking down the road a short distance from the bank and stopped to chat.

He confirmed the story and seemed to really think he was owed that money.

But the officer said he wouldn't be collecting it from that bank.

He was placed on trespass notice and told never to return again.

Deposits

Some strange things are going on a the banks it seems. Another man went into one and gave the teller a note that said he wanted to make a deposit into his sister's account. And then he stood with his back to the teller the entire time.

He would only glance back at her when she spoke to him.

About the same time this strange event was going on another man came in the bank and waited for him. They both left together.

It didn't appear that anything illegal took place but it is not advised that one act so strange in a bank.

Gross

A woman was strolling her 1-year-old around the neighborhood when she happened to glance up at a house and saw a 19-year-old man standing in the window.

It was odd enough that he was just standing there in the window so when she glanced again she was even more taken aback.

He was fidgeting with himself for the whole world to see.

She walked on home and then called a neighbor. She asked the neighbor to drive back by the house and get the address so she could call police.

A photo lineup was then made available and the man still living at home with mom and dad was on his way to some big, big trouble.

Manni pedi

A local woman who is known to swindle local nail salon merchants was back at it recently. She went into a nail salon and had her fingers and toes done. When the owner told her the price she said she already paid. After she left it became clear that she had not paid anyone. He didn't call police right away because he thought it was a genuine misunderstanding.

But then he heard from other salon owners that this same woman had done this to them. She was real easy to describe to police when he finally did make the call and the officer who responded knew exactly who he was talking about.

This woman is a cancer patient who wore a bandana. Police dealt with a case in 2009 in which the woman did the same thing and when she got caught told the officer she had just been diagnosed with cancer.

The officer contacted her and she said she used to go to that nail salon but had not gone in over a year. However, the officer planned to provide the salon owner with a photo line up to get the answer to the swindler's identity.

I'm an airhead

People will say and do anything to get out of being arrested for a DUI. But it never works and Mount Pleasant has a zero tolerance policy.

So the girl police pulled over last week should have known to keep her mouth shut but alas, she did not.

The officer watched her weaving all over Coleman Blvd.

Then he watched her almost rear end someone and almost hit a pedestrian. He pulled her over right about the time she tossed her cigarette out the window.

He told her he pulled her over for various reasons including going 55 mph in a 35 mph zone. She said she was so sorry.

He then asked her for her paperwork and she rummaged around for quite some time looking for it.

She then forgot what she needed to give him and had to ask again. She said she was a little nervous as she rummaged to which the officer said she need not be and she said again, "I'm sorry I just have so much stuff in here."

Then she said she didn't even know what her registration card looked like.

Then the officer asked her if she had been drinking and she said "No, sir."

But she said she had been at dinner and had a glass of wine with her meal, which she then went on to describe in detail.

The officer then asked her how far she went in school and she became confused and asked him if he meant high school.

He asked her again her highest level of education and she said she had a BA.

She then said she knew her alphabet and he told her to say it from D to R. He demonstrated how to do it first and she still did not get it. He demonstrated it again and she said, "d, f, d, f, f' I am confused." He demonstrated it five times total and her final answer was to say the entire alphabet.

She was told to step out of the car and she asked if she had to. He told her yes and that she would need to do some tests to see if she could drive.

She got out and began smiling at the cop and asked if she could go home.

He said no because she was under investigation for driving under the influence and she said she was not.

However, she was.

He explained that she had a glass of wine and admitted it and then could not say the alphabet like he instructed her to.

Her response was that she didn't know how to say the alphabet that way.

So he demonstrated it a sixth time and she said, "d, f, a, g, i, o...I can't; I'm an airhead."

The officer then asked her if she had contacts and she said, "Plenty."

He meant eye glasses or contacts and she said she did not but needed to get some. Then she said she was scared and started crying.

He told her there was no reason to be scared.

She then started taking off her shoes and said she had not done anything wrong. However she had done all the sobriety tests wrong thus far.

She started asking again if she could go home and wanted to know the grounds of which this officer had the nerve to be stopping her on. He told her again and then claimed her alignment was "way off."

She began crying again and saying she was scared and again failed another sobriety test.

And after about 45 minutes of this carrying on, she was arrested and her car towed.

(The Police Blotter is intended to be an informative and/or humorous column written from police reports obtained from the Mount Pleasant Police Department. Many of the stories come from the initial incident reports and, occasionally, supplemental reports. Generally, cases have not been adjudicated at the time of publication.)