Watch that tree

   A concerned citizen called police to report a possible drunk driver, but officers could not locate the car which was headed up Hwy. 17 North.

Minutes later a second call came in about this same car.

This time, the driver had taken out some trees while turning into a neighborhood off the highway.

   The driver didn’t stop, but someone was able to get the license plate number — police cross referenced it to the address of the car’s owner.

When officers arrived at the house they found the garage door wide open and the car in question smashed up.

   He quickly told officers his wife was inside and invited them in. The wife was asked what happened and she paused, as if she was thinking of a response.

   She was asked to step outside and perform some field sobriety tests. She told the officer she understood what he was asking her to do but did not wish to speak to him or perform any tests.

   Nonetheless, she was arrested for DUI and Leaving the Scene of an Accident.

 

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Sage advise

   One man walked up to another man in a local bar and tried to strike up a conversation. 

   However he was ignored because the other man thought him to be a pedophile.

   The alleged pedophile’s wife then got into the mix telling the other man’s wife that if she kept her legs closed her marriage might last a year.

   And with that, the couple  left.

   The comment was relayed to this woman’s husband. He went outside to confront the alleged pedophile.

   They started arguing in the parking lot and someone inside called police.

   The alleged pedophile left before officers arrived, but the bartender was able to give the officer the man’s name and number.

   The officer called the number and spoke with the man who said words were exchanged but he was not the aggressor.

   He was placed on trespass notice and told never to return.

 

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What’s mine is mine

   Words were exchanged recently between a couple arguing over pictures.

   The husband told officers that his wife took one of his framed pictures off his desk and would not give it back. So, he decided to take one of her. As he was walking off with the picture his wife confronted him saying he could not have her picture. The husband ignored her and kept walking to the garage. The wife then started grabbing at him, trying to stop him.

   She was no match for her big burly husband who managed to walk right past her towards his car.

   She kept grabbing at him, so he put the picture down on the garage floor — when he leaned back up, she cold cocked him across the face.

   She swiped at him again, this time knocking his glasses off. It was at that time he spit in her face.

   She kept banging him around, even as he called police. Eventually she gave up and he put the picture in the car.

   Officers arrived and spoke with the wife who became very upset.

   She said they argued about bills that day and he threatened to cancel the credit cards and insurance and when she told him he couldn't do that, he got defensive.

   She told officers she felt like he was baiting her into a confrontation.

   That’s when they started arguing about the pictures.

   She said he came at her aggressively as if he was going to punch her and she simply defended herself.

   She said he told her, “I have you this time and you’re going to jail.”

They both went to jail because officers could not determine a primary aggressor.

 

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You can’t touch me

   A woman was pulled over for possibly driving drunk.

   She told the officer she was driving poorly because her contacts were bothering her.

   When the officer asked for her car documents, she handed over her license, her rental car agreement and a credit card.

   She performed several tests to prove she was not drunk.  However she failed them and was arrested for DUI.

   Once at the station, the officer took her by the elbow and escorted her in the building. She started hollering sexual harassment, and complained that she didn’t want the officer to touch her.

   Once finally inside, the officer took her to the datamaster room the get a breath test. The sample came back invalid because she refused to blow properly.

   She asked for a retest, but not before demanding to be taken to the bathroom  for the  second time.

   On the second breath test she registered a .09%. Just over the legal limit.

She demanded an attorney and was taken to jail.

 

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He always gets his way

   Police were called to a domestic dispute because a girlfriend insisted her boyfriend locked her out of the house. Police found the couple still arguing on the front porch.

   He denied this to police.

   He said he’d been home all day and  was just trying to go to bed when she came home ranting and raving. Officers strongly suggested that one of them leave for the night until things calmed down.

   The girlfriend became angry that officers were not making the boyfriend leave.

   Turning on his babysitter face, the officer explained to her that since they both resided in the residence they both had the right to stay there.

   At that point, she turned, went inside and slammed the front door.

   She locked both the officer and her boyfriend out.  Then, she went to the back of the house and began shutting and locking the windows.

   The officer went to the back of the house and told her she had to open up.

   Reluctantly she opened up the back door, and all the while she screamed about how her boyfriend always gets his way.

   The officer ignored her screaming and told her to go unlock the front door.

   The boyfriend came back in and totally avoided the girlfriend.

   The officer thought his job there was done, so he turned to leave and she slammed the front door as hard as she could.

   But an officer’s work is never done.

   He was called back to the house an hour later.

   The boyfriend was in the front yard again, this time walking the dog. He told officers the girl grabbed the dog by the collar and was being violent with the dog, so he took the dog away from her and came outside.

   But he had no idea she had called police again.

   When she saw that police had arrived, the girlfriend came storming out the house all fired up. She told the officer her boyfriend had pushed her down and torn her jacket.

The boyfriend’s side of the  story is he went to the bathroom to brush his teeth and she came in there pushing him around as if to get him to do something back to her.

   When that didn’t work, he said she grabbed the dog and started tossing him around.

Upon questioning the girlfriend about this, her excuses became more vague and officers determined she was trying to antagonize the boyfriend in an effort to get him to leave.

   Thankfully, he volunteered to leave and said he would take the dog and find a hotel for the night. The girlfriend was told that this was only temporary and he could return the next day if he wanted to. She said she understood. No word on whether the boyfriend even wanted to come back.

 

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